Tiff’s Spiritual System
Hello, I don’t really give a message, I give my testimony. Today I will be sharing with you, “Tiff’s Spiritual System.”
My spiritual system is always Word, Prayer, and Evangelism. We always hear those words all the time, but I will tell you what it means to me and how it applies to my life. We will start with this week’s Word, “Raise the Bartizan that Gives Rest.”
In order for me to have rest, I must believe Jesus Christ finished everything. He has finished everything on the cross and now He is with me forever, and it’s as simple as that, just remembering that the Triune God is with me, actually. I’ve been journaling starting from this year, this is my journal and I started writing this year, but I was going through the pages and there was an entry from 2020 that I wanted to share with you. It was only 2 sentences because that was all the strength I had to write that day.
Nov. 11, 2020. Every moment I’m awake, I want to be asleep. I don’t want to be alive.
So, that’s what I was going through in 2020 and that’s when I realized there was an evil spirit of darkness oppressing me. Even while I was working, I would sleep, so I would put a small paperweight on my keyboard so my status would stay active, and I would sleep during work hours at home. I hated that because I would just be on my phone, go to sleep all day long, and when my sister got home, I would fight with her. I hated being alive, and I felt like I couldn’t control my sleep because there was an actual evil spirit upon me.
So, right before I would go to sleep, the only thing I would think is, “Jesus Christ is with me, “and then I would go to sleep. I still have moments where, you know, things happen, but it’s ok because Jesus Christ has finished it and He is still with you. That’s what I’m still remembering this week. Jesus Christ has finished everything and He is with me.
There have been a lot of moments this week that have made me upset or afraid, but that’s when Jesus Christ reminds me that He is with me. That’s just the Word I was meditating on this week, and I want to show you how the Word of God actually led my life day by day.
2017
A lot of people may already know about this part of my life, but I started working at Honeywell in 2017. Starting 2019, everyone told me to quit and go to another company because that’s what you have to do to make more money, you have to jump around. The Sunday message I received when I prayed about it, the pillar of cloud. Stay if God stays; move if God moves. So I said, “Okay,” so I stayed.
2021
I stayed for 4 years. I wanted to leave in 2021 and there was a position open for a government compliance trainer. So, I prayed about that, I took it to God’s Word if I should take the job or not. I received the Word from NABEC, the North America Businessperson’s Conference.
1) Nobody
Go to the place nobody wants to go to
2) 237
Your job should be connected to the 237 nations. That new job I wanted to apply to was connected with both of these, so I applied and got the job. Keep in mind, around this time was the peak of my depression where I wrote that diary entry, so things weren’t great for me. My only blessing in life is that God has dragged me to the Word. Whether it’s through translation or through my grandma, even if I was kicking and crying and screaming, God dragged me to church so I could listen to the Word and get answers.
Another cool thing about this job as an “EV specialist” is that, the work I was doing in the church also helped me in this role because this is a role of teaching other people and speaking to hundreds of people. I remember one time, I asked Pastor Park if I should go translate in Korea for a Christian school, but he said, “Why would you go to Korea? Just do what God has given you here.” If I were to tell you anything, whatever you’ve been given right now, your role in church, at school, or at work, do that and God will use everything you do right now in the future.
Around 2022, I started getting the answer of raising remnants to the summit through the headquarters business message but I didn’t like that message because I’m not good at it, but my sister’s great at that, “This is your talent, this is what you should do.” I was like, “I don’t even know what I should do; how can I tell the remnants what their talents are?” God just gives me the word, it doesn’t mean I agree or understand it, but that’s the Word He gives.
In January 2023, everyone is leaving the company. Three friends left the company—either they were laid off or quit. Around then, this was only 3 months ago, my dad said, “Maybe you should consider you can leave to another company, you’ve learned everything you can, you’ve been there for six years,” then I said, “I’ll pray since I’ve been given the Word about it.”
The Wednesday and Friday message was, “Do not leave the field until the mission is complete; find the time and place in the field.” I prayed for a time and place, but it didn’t make sense because everything I did was remote. Get this, in February, my old manager leaves and tells me to apply to be the manager. Not only does that guy tell me to apply to be the manager, but the director tells me to apply, “James is leaving, apply to be the manager.”
To every single person, I said, “I don’t know, I have to get the answer from the Word,” and that Wednesday and Thursday, Pastor Park gave us the word of the “Golden Fishing Ground,” and I didn’t know what that meant. “Is Engineers my golden fishing ground?” since I had a lot of engineering friends in college. Thursday, I realized that the golden fishing ground is a physical location, not a group of people, so during the Young Adult regional church, “The golden fishing ground is a physical location where people gather and you can do the RUTC movement where remnants unite, receive training, and go out to evangelize.” So, I was like, “That kind of sounds like Torrance, then.”
So, I was starting to think, “Maybe manager is more right. With EV training, I talk to people all over the world, but I don’t have a platform that is mine where people can come. But as a manager, I would have my own office and people can come and talk to me whenever they need it.” I was leaning more in that direction but I was filled with Gen. 3, “I can’t do this, it’s too much and sudden, I’m being too greedy and ambitious,” so I kept going back and forth.
That Sunday, Feb. 19, this timeline is not to scale, but I received the Word of the “Wisdom and Power of the One Who Saves the World.” Matthew 10:18 says, “For Jesus Christ, I will be brought before governors and kings to be a witness to the Gentiles.” So I said, “Okay, I will be brought before kings, that sounds scary, that sounds like I have to be a manager who speaks to the leadership and the summits of the company,” but I was so scared and remnant day happened.
Prayer Bartizan. Build your Prayer Bartizan. You have to have both skill and spirituality. This is kind of been my guiding force the whole month. That’s the blessing the Word is, it tells you what you have to do in advance, both skill and spirituality, building my bartizan. I don’t need to be so centered on me, but prayer and the Word gives me the answer before I go.
Then, in Feb. 26 the Sunday message, “Do Not Be Afraid –Witness.” The Word I received, “Do not be afraid of persecution but stand before God.” That Monday, I told my current boss, “I’m going to apply for the manager position,” and she said, “You’re not ready, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, they’re setting you up for failure,” it was so scary. Without the Word on Sunday, I would have bene afraid, but because the Word was given to me the day before, I understood why. “Okay, it’s okay.”
Then the next week, I received the Word, “The One Who is Worthy of God.” The Word I received, the answer I received from that message is, “There is suffering in the world because people love money and themselves more than they love God.” From 2 Tim 3:2. This week, I got my job offer, and they gave me the salary bonus for being a manager, and I was like, “That’s not enough.”
It’s so crazy how subtly Satan sneaks into your heart like that because I never cared about money that much, but when it comes to money, there’s something inside of you that comes up, it’s called greed. It’s because I was listening to other people’s words, “You should make more, I know James was making more; why are they paying you less?” But because of this, I was able to stand before the Word and love God more than money, and check my heart, “Am I doing this for money and prestige, or am I doing this for God?”
I took the offer and did a lot of grappling, and the next two weeks later, the healing evangelism school told me about the nine streams. So, I was actually about to go hang out with a friend that night and not go to church, but I was like, “Wow, I’m having a really hard week, I’m spiritually dead and need God’s Word.” I texted her, “I think I’m sick, I can’t hang out, I’m sorry,” so I came to church and the word was about 9 streams. My sister texted me, “This is the word for managers, I’m glad you came,” and I said, “Amen.”
That brings me to this Sunday, March 19. Raise the Bartizan that Gives Rest. The first thing I told you is, Jesus Christ died and rose again and is with me always. This gives me strength whenever I’m stressed out, but the second thing I received is, in order to raise the bartizan, I have to see the field. God is with me, so I don’t have to worry about myself, but it’s not like, “Nice, everything is finished,” but it’s time to look out into the field.
I’ve been looking at the field spiritually, or at least, I’m trying to, there’s a lot of distractions and my spirit is weak. But some things I have seen is, there’s someone at work who sees ghosts and evil spirits, and I went out to dinner with some of my coworkers today, and almost all of them were divorced at least once. They’re all saying they’re trying to find their own happiness but they don’t have their own happiness.
I was like, “Dang, I’m sitting here trying to have fun with my friends, but I realize they’re dying and don’t have the answer.” As I remember the things I went through in my life, I remember, everyone has their dark times and I’m thankful I went through my dark times in my pre-Honeywell days in 2020, because it helps me to understand other people who are oppressed by demons.
So, this word, “Bartizan” has been coming up a lot, eh? I’ll tell you what it means to me. Now we’re in the Prayer section. This is how the Word has been guiding me, and it guides me every day. There’s actually so much more than this, I found it all in my diary. You should all start journaling, it’s crazy to see all the answers in a row. But there’s so much guidance of God’s Word. That wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t pray holding onto God’s Word.
We all listen to the same messages, but if I don’t have that spiritual sensitivity, I don’t get anything from the Word and it becomes a burden to go to church. So, the prayer I pray is, when I inhale, I think about Jesus Christ. Either I’m thinking about the three roles of Jesus Christ or I’m thinking about how Jesus Christ is with me. You’re inhaling more than once. Every time I inhale, I think about something different about Jesus Christ. When I hold it, I think about, “With.” That “with” is the Triune God is with me. He is with me through His Word. The Father God is with me through His Word, as evidenced here, so I think about the Word I received on Sunday, the Word I’m holding onto.
He is also with me through the Holy Spirit so I think about the power that is with me. I’ve actually been doing this a lot more because I’m so stressed. Being a manager is really scary because now everyone expects so much of me, and now I have to think all the people I’m managing. Now, I have to do the thing I was never good at, which is, raising up remnants and finding their talents. I have to do that for people at work.
People are always getting mad, they’re always analyzing everything I do. They’re always, “You shouldn’t have done it like this or that.” or like, “Why didn’t you invite me to this?” I said, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t think about it, sorry.” I have to think about everything. I texted Joyce a few weeks ago, “How much do you do deep breathing?” The reason I asked her is because that’s the only way to survive once you get to a certain level of mental stress. I used to go on walks but now I don’t have time to go on walks; I have to stay at my desk and find a way to stay sane. I now really rely on deep breathing to not cry. I really want to tell you, it does work wonders on your physical state, your mental state, your spiritual state. As an added bonus, I hear if you breathe through your nose, it makes your jaw structure better, so it’s really good for you in every day.
When I exhale, I think about the field. This could be my field at work. It could be my field of my family or the mission field or the world. I think about the field and another word for that is, “Kingdom.” I think about spreading God’s Kingdom and breaking down Satan’s Kingdom. When I pray like this, the first thing it does is give me rest. It relaxes me. I’m not stuck in my emotions or thoughts, but I remember, God is with me,” and so, this week, I deleted Instagram. I downloaded it again a few times this week, but I always delete it again afterwards. That process has cut down the hours I spent on my phone a lot, so I work out at home, and I meditate in the morning, it’s amazing. I set a timer for 5 minutes, I do this prayer, it goes by so quickly, and I’m so thankful, it’s been a week so far.
Now, speaking of the field, I want to tell a bit about evangelism. The thing I want to emphasize about evangelism is that I’m not doing anything on this. I get very burdened and stressed by it, but ultimately it’s not me who’s doing it anyway. The only thing I really have to do, if anything, is pray about it. The first is obviously my job at Honeywell Torrance, including praying for people who are now reporting to me, seeing them spiritually instead of saying, “Why are you so bad at your job?” But it’s really cool because through Honeywell, I also got connected to USC. It’s super crazy because I go to the same gym as my HR representative. “Andy?” I started getting close to this guy named Andy who told me about a University Relations program where people go to different universities to recruit students to come to our company.
“I went to USC,” “Great! We’re looking for someone to go to USC,” so I’m giving a lecture to USC students in April. We’re also getting an intern for USC. I haven’t done anything about this yet, but I should pray about Yeji. Yeah. I haven’t really done anything about these things, I just pray about it and God can do what He needs to do and change me and bring about these situations, and God does the work.
The third field I’m praying for is Navajo. That’s another situation where I haven’t done anything but pray for them. I was so burdened by them, I called up Joel, “There’s Youth Evangelism School, how are you?” but he started going off about how there’s a Youth Movement going on in Navajo where the Youth Kids grow up and preach the gospel to their parents. They’re sharing forum and answers and the adult generation is saying, “What is going on with our kids?” Please continue to pray for the Navajo people. Please continue to give them your prayers, offering, and right now, they’re using the offering to bring kids to church through a church van, through the internet, and things like that.
That’s the final evangelism I want to talk about, offering. This has been on my mind because of the greed for money that I apparently have. If this is how much income I have, then obviously I give 10% to tithe. I give 20% to Temple Construction. I get my paycheck every two weeks, and every time I get that, I give my tithe immediately because otherwise I can’t keep track of that. Every other week, I’m giving tithe, and another tenth is for future generation and missions. Also for things like RU, I give about half my income to offering.
I’m not doing this because I’m like, you know, but I’m doing this because I don’t know if people take Pastor Park seriously when he gives the message about offering. This is not the goal, my goal from 2019 or 2020, until now, is to give 9/10ths offering, which means I’m going to have to make so much more money. Right now, 4/10ths is used for bills and mortgage, which means only 1/10 is left for food, snowboarding, and anything else. I’m always broke all the time. It’s crazy because I’ve started tracking expenses and I always spend more than my income but I’m never in debt. It’s not that I spend a lot, I spend more than 1/10th and I’m not overdrawing, so it’s the grace of God.
It doesn’t have to be this, but I don’t know if I should be saying this, but when I see the offering, some people have their covenant go into their offering. It’s not about the amount you give, but some people will only give offering to future generation, or only give offering to Temple Construction or something like that. “That’s what they’re praying for, that’s what their mission is.” For me, my mission is Temple Construction and it’s been Temple Construction for years; I just didn’t know about it.
Ever since about 2018, I was holding onto the covenant of Obadiah and I didn’t even know why. But Obadiah was the one who saved 100 prophets, right? May the church and may RU be the platform that saves 100 prophets for this age. So, right now I hope my parents aren’t listening to this message because they would flip out if they found out about my offering system, because I need to get a new laptop, I need to get a new car, and I need an MBA. I don’t know how that’s going to be possible but I hope that through the next years, you guys are going to see the evidence that God gives. None of this makes sense to me but you just follow God’s Word in prayer and faith. I’m nowhere near holy or perfect. Just believe that. But, believe in the God Who is strong, believe in the God Who is holy and perfect.
During this whole time, I’ve had moments of darkness and I know you guys do, too. I know you have problems that you think control you, and you just want to run away from everything. But I hope you understand that even if you do try to run away, being with the Word of God is the greatest answer and blessing possible. Even if you do try to run away, it may feel fun in the moment, but it leads you into so much darkness, loneliness, and emptiness. Instead, I hope you guys can realize that being in this stream is such a blessing, and you are the bartizans to save your fields that are spiritually dying.
In my opinion, this is what life is about. My friends say they budget for traveling, but for me, I don’t need to travel because the world is all suffering. I went to Korea and was depressed AF because everyone was dying there too. This is all in God’s time schedule, don’t feel bad if you feel like you’re not getting it. I went through two years of, “God, why aren’t you changing me?” If you want, we can chat about it. There was two years, “Why am I not getting answers?”
It is God who gives rest and answers. Let’s pray.
Prayer
God, thank You for giving us rest and power, thank You for giving us rest that Jesus Christ is always with us. I pray You will bless the remnants that they may be able to enjoy their covenant journey. May they find their answers in the Word and see the field spiritually for what it is. I pray You will break down the forces of darkness and raise up the future generations to save the year 2030-2080 and rise up as the leaders to give the answer to kings and Gentiles.
Bless remnant day tomorrow and help us pray for our church and the field. In the name of Jesus Christ we pray, amen.